


Hello me, it's me again

by pderdy



Series: Pandora's Box [2]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, but like not super intro intro, lots and lots of angst, still the intro yall, through prose, watch me build up the premise bit by bit, whatever semblance of prose that this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-07 17:31:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12846054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pderdy/pseuds/pderdy
Summary: Her first encounter with Metaria? Hmm, how to tell that particular story from long ago?





	1. Chapter 1

_ Five years after D-Point _

Ami lay sprawled on her bed. Stomach down, neck uncomfortably twisted so she can breathe, but she's barely registering it.

Her life might as well have been over, like this. She closed her swollen eyes, having ran out of tears a while ago. Her mind kept uselessly racing anyway, true to its nature. She wished it would just stop so she could rest. But it insisted.

 

She finally broke up with him.

 

Hah. Finally. Why didn't she break up with Urawa Ryo sooner? Because... she tried her best. And had a lot of promises she intended to keep. And she did love him. And he did love her. And...

She sighed; it came out as a wheeze. Her heart hurt, but the tears won't come out.

They're both not okay, there's that. The two of them matched each other perfectly in the category of fucked up. They had a shit ton of common ground, which did nothing to deter the conclusion that, at the end, they wore down on each other so much that the best resolution is distance.

And, in the interest of healing, permanent severance.

 

Ami wished she could just die. Maybe walk into the ocean. No one would find her until much, much later. Maybe she shouldn't even leave anything behind... just sneak out quietly. It's guaranteed to work, and physically it won't be the worst pain she's ever felt. She can do it.

But, if she did that, she would become the saddest ghost to haunt a piece of kelp out in the sea, won't she.

 

Then, she'll just keep suffering, forever.

 

Ami rolled over dejectedly. It's over the top irrational, but if it deterred her effectively from committing suicide, she'll take it. Death is not an option for her. It just... isn't acceptable at all.

Something deep within her being screams at the top of its figurative lungs that she must keep on living. So she'll just do that.

(She has sometimes wondered if she's possessed by something. Right now, she's wondering the same thing again. It's less like possession and more like a part of herself that she can't make sense of. Like a persistent mental block that's always resisted her attempts at prying.)

(The girl genius, believing in ghosts. Pathetic.)

(The former girl genius, that is. Her grades are a wreck. Well, compared to what they used to be, anyway. She's lowered her standards by a lot. She's really behind on her homework.)

(Her mom stopped freaking out about it about two years ago. She thought it'd bring her peace, but now she just feels neglected.)

 

She hugged herself and just laid there on her bed, relieved that her thoughts finally stopped for now, and just reveled in the emptiness.

 

...

 

And then she's hungry.

 

 _Ugh. Fuck this_.

There's no food. She has to put pants on and buy food.

Fuck.

_Fuck fuck fuck._

 

~ + ~

 

Ami walked out of the corner store, sour and dour, with a bag of chips and two cups of instant ramen.

Loud music in her earphones and eyes carefully watching her feet, she didn't notice the man following her into her usual shortcut alley, not at all.

(Metaria had been following her closely, through this man's eyes. His mind was feeble and he was easy to take over. He followed her and watched her closely as Metaria bid its time for the perfect opportunity to get to her.)

 

He put a hand on her shoulder, and when she turned around he pushed her to the wall and stuck a knife in her guts.

(And Metaria's tendrils left him to disappear into her wound.)

She gasped, and the chill that her exhale had carried froze him solid when it reached him.

 

Ami tried pushing his hand away, and he crumbled into fine grained crystal chips.

 

Astonished, she took no heed of his remains melting into red, and limped away.

 

~ + ~

 

Ami made it back to her apartment.

 

_H... how?_

 

She took advantage of the fact that the pain hadn't caught up to her yet to lock the door and stumbled all the way to the bathroom.

Fumbling for the lights, she looked at herself.

Deathly pale. Eyes strangely a brilliant blue. Ice spreading from where her hand is pressed against her wound. Some blood. Not a lot, but it's still an open wound, probably infected--

She felt nauseous.

 

She hurried to her bed, and effortfully eased herself to lie down on it.

 

What in hell? _Did_ _hell just freeze over?_

... Was her last thoughts before she blacked out.

 

~ + ~

 

A wound. A fever. An enemy as old as time.

A friend, it said. A goddess. A powerful being.

Here to grant her a wish.

 

 _As if!_ She spat at it. It bristled at her.

 

It bargained.

It'll show her what she really is. (The mental block. It'll remove it.) It'll show her knowledge like she has never known. (It'll bring her to her full potential.)

It'll satisfy every curiosity she has ever had.

 

 _What's the catch?_ She replied to it.

An embrace. Become one.

 

_What does that entail?_

It screamed at her: it doesn't have much time. She screamed back at it.

 

_What do you want from me?!_

It goaded her on; does she like the offerings or not!?

 

She faltered.

She can't help her curious heart.

 

~ + ~

 

Someone kicked her door open and stuck an evil banishing charm onto her sternum.

She screamed. It screamed as it left her heart and dispersed onto the aether.

 

(It did not. It spread all over the world and seeped into the hearts of all mankind.)

 

(Her heart's desires connected her to Metaria, and Metaria ran off with whatever it is it could glean from her.)

(What does she have that others do not?)

(Intellect. Metaria held onto a sliver of her intellect, and made off with it.)

(Metaria made off with it, so it could share it with the most powerful amongst mankind.)

 

(At least Metaria kept its end of the deal: _she remembers_.)

 

Ami opened her eyes, and recognized the shrine maiden looming over her.

Rei stared down at her in bewilderment, and opened her mouth.

 

"I don't know who you are, but I hope you know what you just _did_."

 


	2. Chapter 2

"... Rei."

 

"And how did you know _that_?"

 

Ami sullenly laid unmoving on her bed, covered in sweat. Screaming with a gut wound had hurt a lot.

Her eyes searched Rei's. They're not as vibrant as she remembered, but the slight glow is there.

Ami's voiced lowered to a comfortable whisper.

 

"... You don't remember."

 

"Remember what? Also, that's not an answer."

Ami closed her eyes and smiled. It's good ol' Rei. There's comfort in that.

"How much did you..." Ami breathed. "... Dream about it?"

 

"A lot, and, okay, stop that; it's freaking me out. If you're not gonna be helpful with the answers you might as well shut up. You're hurt."

 

Ami huffed out a silent laugh. Rei hasn't changed! Okay. Ami stays shutted up and wondered what to do next.

... She should probably find a way to answer Rei's questions. And bring the sailor team back, maybe. That evil thing from earlier is up to no good, she can feel it. She knows, in fact. She doesn't know why she knows that, though. That's vexing. Hmm.

She wondered if she could still do the thing? With the Mercury Computer.

She reached over randomly to her side as if she had left it there.

 

Rei's eyes widened as she watched Ami pull the Mercury Computer out of thin air.

 

Ami held it up.

It's been in standby for... 6 years. Well, that's peculiar...

A warning light blinked on the corner. She brought the notification up.

 

She's been tracked.

 

Well then, let's track them back... Oh? Silver Millennium era technology?

That's right... the cats...

She brought up a terminal to send them a message, and when that's done, she put the mini computer away. Yes, back into thin air. Lifting it up like that got tiring real fast.

 

"Rei."

 

Rei got caught just as she was about to leave. She sharply turned around at Ami.

"What."

"If you see them, bring them back up here, will ya?"

 

Rei scrunched her eyebrows at her, shrugged, then turned around and walked away.

 

~ + ~

 

Rei had been very apprehensive about the vision she'd had, but the moment she acted on it, she knew she'd done the right thing.

Still, it was wild and confusing from start to end.

She spent the silent elevator ride down trying not to think about it too hard.

 

It took just four steps out of the apartment building proper for her to come across Luna.

 

~ + ~

 

When Rei returned to Ami's apartment, she's already asleep.

 

"She said she remembers. Still, maybe you should do the forehead thing to her too."

 

"Well, it couldn't hurt, yes..."

 

~ + ~

 

In her dream, Ami saw a light, and in an instant the dreamscape changed.

Snow as far as the eyes can see, which, given the blizzard, is not that far at all.

_Oh no._

 

The illusions. (What had she seen exactly back then? Now she sees the true form of it with her mind's eye, and it's unnerving her. It's like it's trying to latch onto her mind, but can't find anything.)

The death. (Makoto. _Makoto_. How could she have forgotten her?!)

The final encounter. (Her own, anyway. She didn't exactly stick around long enough after Makoto kicked it. Hah, oh no. She's going to have to check the Mercury Computer for dents later.)

 

The Silver Crystal.

 

It used to be so warm. What happened? It's entirely too blinding now, too painful to look at with the naked eye. Why?

There is undoubtedly unlimited power in the light, of that she's sure.

 

...

 

No. She did not just covet it.

 _She coveted it_. _No no no. This is all wrong_.

 

The shadow that it blasted away.

She's seen that before. Very very recently, in fact...

Metaria. That's what it was.

 

Ami opened her eyes, and sees Rei's concerned violet eyes. Now as vivid as she had remembered.

She turned her head to Luna without even consciously knowing beforehand where she would be.

 

"... I think Metaria took from me, and gave in return."

 

Rei and Luna both, their eyes widened in shock. Before they could ask Ami to clarify, she indulged them.

 

"The youma from earlier. That Rei stopped. ... It was Metaria."

 

 Luna's hairs raised in alarm, back arched.

"How--? What do you mean with the--"

 

Heh, poofly hissy kitty. Ami smiled. Mirthful and tired.

 

"Tomorrow. Bring the others." Ami paused to breathe. "My mother's away for the week."

Luna bristled, but said nothing as she hopped off of Ami's bed.

 

"Oh, and Rei?"

 

Rei said nothing and only glared in return.

 

"Thanks."

"... You're welcome."

 

After that, Ami closed her eyes, and she let restful sleep whisk her away.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Rei was glad to finally be freed of the dreams tormenting her...

... Her past life, as it were. It was real, and now she's here, set out to track the others down and bring them back from oblivion as well.

 

Throughout the past five years she had felt like something gutted her, and left her hollow shell to amble about through life.

 

Being the freaky psychic shrine maiden and juggling work at the shrine and school had been easier with her best friends. Well, maybe a little harder at times with the fighting added to all that, but it felt much lighter to bear together.

All alone, she felt as if she wasted away a little more with every new day, and the days passed by too quickly for comfort.

 

~ + ~

 

School's out, they've all graduated, so the obvious choice for finding the others doesn't work.

Usagi's whereabouts is still obvious, though; but Rei had insisted that she find the others first. But, Ami did say everyone...

 

Rei decided to ignore Ami for now.

She's... a little off.

That's the best way Rei could put it.

 

~ + ~

 

Makoto was the easiest to find. She's still in that ratty little apartment somewhere within the slummy side of Azabu Juuban's outskirts.

Makoto was the hardest to see, out of all of them.

Her room's a mess. She's escaped reality via console games, and sustained herself with delivery and cheap junk food.

Her plants had died.

 

Rei's stoic heart bled. Just a bit.

 

Makoto had gained weight, left her hair wild and unkempt, and chewed up her fingers.

When she finally stood up to address the strangers in her home, Luna almost just tucked her tail and ran.

Makoto had grown even taller.

 

~ + ~

 

 Minako would've been a nightmare to track if it weren't for Artemis' efforts.

 

That fake smile as she served Rei like she would any other costumer in the small sidewalk diner was...

The complete opposite of radiant.

 

Rei did her best not to break down until after Luna followed her into the back alley, when she had to take out the trash.

 

~ + ~

 

"... Should we bring Usagi back too?"

 

Minako spoke what was in Rei's mind for her. _Thank you._

Luna kept walking as she replied.

 

"I... Normally I would say yes, of course, but this time around... I'm not sure."

 

Luna stopped. The others all stopped too. Makoto buried herself deeper in her oversized hoodie.

Must've been a men's size. Rei didn't even think they make hoodies that big.

Gravely, Minako spoke up.

 

"I think we're going to need all the help we can get."

 

~ + ~

 

All four gathered, they surround Ami on her bed. Solemn concern on their faces.

Ami chuckled meekly.

 

"Heh, guys. I'm not dying or anything."

 

They stare at her expectantly. She takes a breath.

"Right, so. Metaria."

 

She pressed a button on the Mercury Computer. It projected a hologram. It was the globe, with dots scattered all about it.

Minako's eyes widened. She recognized them as government centers.

 

"Metaria approached me. With this, to be exact." Ami gestured at her stab wound. "I passed out, and saw it in my dream. We uhh... talked."

 

Ami paused to take a breath. (Hmm. There's been gradual improvements. Has she been healing? She hasn't done anything to the wound. ... Oh, right, senshi.)

Before she got a rise out of the others, she continued.

 

"If Rei here didn't appear just in time, Metaria would've probably taken me over. I... couldn't help myself."

 

That did it.

"What do you mean by that?" "So what are we seeing here?" "How did Metaria even come back so fast?"

"Everyone, _sshh_."

 

Thank you, Luna. "Metaria goaded me with knowledge. I almost took it. Rei stopped Metaria before it could seal the deal."

Breathe. _Ouch_. Okay, she's gonna take it easy after this. This is important.

"Metaria fled and spread out all over the world, and these here are the highest concentrations that the computer... could detect..."

 

Ami ran out of breath and decided to just gesture at the hologram globe. Minako piped up.

 

"The world's most powerful governments. But... why?"

 

Ami looked at Minako, then closed her eyes. This is it. She has to own up to it. The others are gonna hate her for it.

Here goes.

 

"My split-second willingness was enough. Metaria took some of my smarts with it. It's probably plotting to get humanity to destroy itself, so these..."

Breathe. Carefully this time.

"... Are where the world's top researchers will be inspired by the worst ideas imaginable for the next few years."

 

Stunned silence.

Ami scanned everyone for responses.

Minako got the idea immediately, it seems. Makoto isn't all here. Usagi is still concerned for her.

Rei looks pissed.

 

"You let Metaria get to you?!"

 

Ami won't even defend herself. She sighed in resignation.

"The bait was knowledge. Knowledge is power and all. I like both these things."

 

A commotion broke. Ami started feeling dizzy. She waited until everyone expected more answers from her.

What was that again from Minako? Ah, right. What to do.

 

"For now, we... can't do anything." Hell about to break loose again - quickly. "We have time. When the inventions are made concrete, we smash them. By then..."

Breathe. _Ouch_. Damn it. Her voice started cracking.

"... By then, Metaria probably would have recovered enough to manifest physically, then we can... you know."

 

Makoto's eyes lit up. Yeah, she gets it.

Makoto... they need to talk later. It's been so long...

They looked at each other. Makoto's expression turned into confusion after a while, and she looked away.

 

Ami dismissed the computer's projection, then shifted a little and groaned.

"Can you get me some water please...?"

 


	4. Chapter 4

By the time Ami's mother returned from the symposium out of town, her stab wound had healed enough that she could walk around.

Whew.

It's been an absurd week. The senshi checked in on her sometimes.

She had spent it looking back at the sallow five past years of her life.

 

Was it even real?

She hadn't been herself that whole time.

(Yes, it's real. Her heart still hurts. She had spent three, almost four of those years with Urawa.)

 

She's going out later today, to meet everyone. She has... they have a lot of catching up to do.

(Were they really ever her friends? They laughed and died together, but after time took its course, her heart had felt that they're just... strangers.)

 

Ami sat sprawled on the couch and closed her eyes. She'd had no other friends since then, until now.

(It feels just like hitting the resume button.)

 

(Okay, to be more apt, it's like pausing one disc and then swapping it out to play another.)

But which one is she? The discs, or the record player?

(Both. She is both.)

 

~ + ~

 

Ami stood under the warm shower. It's almost hot, actually, but that's just how she likes it.

She thought back to the fever dream she had just two days ago.

 

She had floated over earth and she saw... everything. All at once.

(She woke up in shock. Then she drank some water and fell back asleep.)

 

Ever since then, whenever she wants to see something, all she has to do is close her eyes.

She's not very good at it yet. It's vague and confusing, but if she really focused hard on it...

(Is it real? Or did she just sustain brain damage? She knows it's real, but it just feels too...)

(Unreal.)

 

How she just... _knows_.

Omniscience on demand.

It's way too much power for one person to hold.

(Is this how Usagi feels?)

 

Did Metaria really grant her... this?

(The last thing that's left in Pandora's box after it's been opened.)

(The source of Usagi's power.)

(The excitement she's currently feeling at the thought of seeing, of having friends again.)

(All of these things are the same thing...)

 

(Hope.)

 

But... which one is she?

The girl or the box?

 

Both. She is both.

 

~ + ~

 

Ami's early.

There's Rei, also early. There's also Mako, uncharacteristically early, but it makes sense.

 

At the Crown Parlour, like they used to.

Minako will arrive soon, and then they'll all be waiting for Usagi.

 

Ami took her seat in front of Makoto.

Rei absently flipped through the menu.

 

...

 

No one said anything. Yep, they're gonna all wait for Usagi, because right now, every single word they all have to say has a lot of meaning in them.

Ami settled for observing Makoto instead.

 

Long hair even longer. Wide shoulders wider. Large chest... _umm_...

 

...

 

(She used to have feelings for this girl.)

(She looked back at her past years again, and realized; no, she _still_ has feelings for this girl.)

(Oh no.)

 

Makoto still has some dark mark under her eyes; a combination of lack of sleep and lots of crying.

Makoto smelled much less terrible compared to the last time she saw her.

Makoto finally did laundry and some cleaning and bathed, after... a while...

(This omniscience thing is gonna be a problem if she doesn't get a hold of it soon.)

 

(She can't help wanting to know...)

 

Makoto noticed her staring, and is now staring back.

Makoto's eyes would've been hazel brown without the Jupiter Crystal coloring it with copper green.

Ami hoped with all her heart that, whatever Makoto's seeing in her eyes, it's not pity.

(It's sadness. In a way that's even worse.)

 

Ami smiled at Makoto.

(Is it the same smile as the one she's familiar with?)

 

(It is, and it is not, at the same time.)

 

 

_Ami, you've changed._

 

 

Ami snapped herself out of reading Makoto's mind. _No, no no no. Bad_.

She looked away.

 

...

 

Ami settled for following Rei's example and focused on flipping through the menu.

 

~ + ~

 

Ami relaxed enough to figure out how to toggle the omniscience thing off. (It's like only using a small portion of her brain instead of... ... wait... that's what normal humans do...)

Minako arrived, followed by Usagi.

 

"I'm so sorry guys! I got so excited I overslept..."

 

Ami can't help but smile. The others felt the same.

 

 

Usagi's been more or less fine. She managed to graduate school by a mere hair. She's not sure about college. She's glad she 19 now, now that she can see Mamoru again.

(Everyone jeered. In good faith. Just like old times.)

 

Rei's path is set: the shrine. Usagi complained, "Gee Rei, how come you're even cooler now?" Rei almost fell back into her usual routine with Usagi before she realized Usagi had just complimented her. Rei turned bright red.

(Everyone laughed. In good faith. Just like old times.)

 

Minako's been doing volleyball and part time jobs. Usagi stepped on her toes, "I bet you got even cooler ninja tricks now!" from which Minako shrank away from.

Uh oh.

Makoto stepped up to spare Minako the unwanted spotlight. (Everyone went with it. In good faith.)

 

Makoto's focusing on the now. She's getting back into cooking again. She still remembers how, good thing right? She's thinking of getting a haircut.

She spared everyone the ugly details.

(Everyone cheered her on. In good faith.)

 

Now it's Ami's turn. Ami picked her words very very carefully.

"I'm thinking of going into engineering for uni... tuition's much lighter..."

 

Ami noticed the shock in their body languages.

They took some time in silence to recover from it, but then warmly accepted it.

 

In good faith...?

 

~ + ~

 

They ate and drank, and reveled in the camaraderie.

Just like old times.

 

They exchanged current phone numbers, brought out their communicators for Ami to reprogram, and went home.

 

Ami looked at Makoto's number in her phone.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Ami arrived home, put her shoes away, washed her hands, then plopped down on the couch and pulled her phone out.

(Everyone went separate ways, after. They all shared the same surreal feeling; there hasn't been any youma sighting within the past years...)

(Was it truly what had bound them together?)

 

Ami brought up the groupchat app they had set up earlier.

There were various messages testing if it worked, and one from Usagi.

 

 

U S A 

[What if we all went to the amusement park this weekend???] followed by a shit ton of sparkly emoji.

 

 

Ami grinned and punched in her reply.

 

 

[sure! but im not riding the rollercoaster]

 

 

Ami stared at her screen. After a few seconds...

 

 

U S A 

[OH NO AMI I'M SO SORRY I FORGOT]

 

[B a k a]

 

[I hope you feel better soon]

 

[i am! you know what, if we go monday itll be cheaper fare -and- ill be able to ride the rollercoaster.]

 

U S A 

[YES GOOD SO ITS SETTLED!!!]

 

[Howd you know thats my day off ami?]

 

 

Ami stared at her screen in disbelief. She had honestly forgotten Minako has a job now.

(Hah, who needs omniscience?)

 

 

[i]

[honestly didnt know, but, im glad]

 

U S A 

[YAY!!!!!]

 

 

Ami put her phone down in disbelief and laughed, then remembered the first thing she had set out to do, and tapped Makoto's display picture.

She then spent a while merely staring at the one-on-one chat, because she just realized: this is going to be awkward as fuck no matter what.

 

D'oh. What should she even say? What would Mako, the senshi of courage, do?

(Put it off for days, probably. Yeah. You always get impatient first.)

 

Ami took her glasses off (she doesn't need them anymore now anyway), facepalmed, and bit the bullet.

 

 

                        [mako]

                        [are you free later today]

 

 

Good enough. Now, she waits.

 

~ + ~

 

During the most unbearable fifteen minutes of her life thus far, Ami had turned notifications off on the main group, and changed into cozier clothes.

And stared at the sad insides of the kitchen fridge.

 

Hmm.

 

Mom's got overtime this weekend...

Wait, right, it's her turn to get groceries... what construes as groceries in the Mizuno house anyway. Bread, for toast, and milk. The milk is for coffee. Their pantry is always full... of coffee. _God..._

 

... Wait, oh no.

 

If Makoto comes over she's gonna check the fridge, go back right out, and return with actual groceries.

Is that gonna be suspicious? ... It's gonna be _very_ suspicious.

 

(What better time to reintroduce her friends to her mom, though, right?)

(Or, maybe it's time to just get a place on her own...)

(... And keep her mom out of the fight...)

 

Ami has a headache now. She went back to the couch.

She nursed the headache, and she... sees.

(In many other worlds, her mother gets caught in the senshi fight, and kicks it.)

(In a surprising number of them, she had to finish her herself.)

(In some of them...)

 

Ami shook her head and snapped out of it.

That was...

Ugly.

 

She sighed, shaking, and almost doubled over when Makoto finally replied to her.

 

Her hands were trembling, but she got it opened on her phone.

 

 

[Yeah]

[Are you ok? What's the matter]

[Um, I mean]

[What's up]

 

 

Oh... of course she's more anxious...

Oops... shoulda put more details in at first...

 

 

                                    [im fine, just]

                                    [figured we should... talk]

                                    [i mean, just between us]

                                    [... i mean, we. used to be... you know]

                                    [close friends]

 

 

'Friends'.

 

Ami, at this moment, felt incredible vex and hatred for that one word within her heart.

 

(This is absurd. You two might as well have never met. Ami, what are you doing?)

(I don't know. I think I just dug my own grave. There's no way it didn't sound creepy.)

 

Ami laid herself down on the couch in exasperation. _Ouch_. Right. Stab wound three days away from completely healing. Shit... what is her life right now?

She groaned.

 

Hole six feet deep, she's going to lie in it.

 

 

                                    [can you come over?]

[Oh]

[Uh]

[Sure]

[I'll come right over]

 

 

There.

 

Ami put her phone away. Sadly, it doesn't work like the Mercury Computer does. It'll probably slip between the cushions. Oh well.

 

Okay, Mako's old apartment is the same, so it'll still take... fifteen minutes on foot. Makoto has long strides. She has longer strides now.

Ami has twelve minutes to get just the right amount of groceries for two portions of a simple recipe.

 

She bolted up, into her room, and now that she has pants on, out the door.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Ami returned home in ten minutes with a six pack of eggs and a can of corned beef.

She put them in the fridge.

 

Now... she has... two minutes and sixteen seconds left. Should she preen? Should she just... play it cool?

 

She sat on the couch and ran her hand through her hair a few times.

 

~ + ~

 

No cheating when talking to Makoto. It is outlawed.

(But... maybe to ease her trepidation...)

 

Less than one minute...

 

...

 

Okay, its efficacy is inconclusive.

She opted to just - not get up in anticipation, to make it more... natural.

(This is a gigantic mess.)

 

(Yes.)

 

(Bye now, I'm playing this by ear.)

 

~ + ~

 

Small talk.

 

Ami let Makoto in. They look (or try not to look) at each other a lot. It takes some time for both of them to get used to it.

So many things have changed in five years.

 

Small talk...

Makoto decided she's had enough of the small talk.

 

"So... is there any reason in particular that you..."

 

"Oh, I just thought... that this was something we used to do."

"... Yeah, it was, wasn't it..."

 

"It was..."

 

Silence. Ami gathered her courage, to breach the tip of the iceberg.

 

"... That was then. Now it... doesn't have to be, I guess."

"But... I'm here already."

"Yeah... what I mean is. We can... turn a new page. So to speak."

 

Makoto's hand reached for the stove's dial, but stopped just short of it.

She turned to look at Ami.

Ami looked away from her and continued.

 

"We're so different now. It's been... a long while. We might as well start fresh, I think..."

 

Makoto's eyes widened.

 

"... Yeah..."

 

...

 

"... But..."

 

Ami raised her eyebrows at her. "Hmm?"

 

 

"Doesn't that mean... we shouldn't have ever met in the first place...?"

 

 

Makoto isn't very intelligent, but she's more perceptive than Ami is.

Ami doesn't know the answer to that.

(In her desperation: the answer is an emotive one.)

 

"I... well, we still did, didn't we? And I... can't find any... cons, to that. Uh."

 

Ami cleared her throat and clarified.

"I'm... glad, that I got to meet you."

 

Makoto turned away before Ami could see her start to tear up.

"I'm glad I got to meet you, too."

 

She turned the stove on.

 

~ + ~

 

They sit at the kitchen table, now. Omelette with diced corned beef.

It's still decadent somehow, against all odds; despondent ingredients, and rusty skills.

Ami finished cutting hers into convenient bite sized pieces, ready for the fork.

 

"... You noticed too - how much we all changed, but also stayed the same, right?"

 

Makoto looked up at her and nodded while she swallowed her food.

"Yeah, it's like... ... it was really weird."

"Yeah..."

"Yeah. ... Like-- we were like, little babies, when we first met. Everyone's older now..."

 

Ami sees in those gleaming emerald eyes there, a slight sparkle of mirth.

She smiled and reflected it in her own.

 

"Yeah! Usagi got a bit taller, and, Rei is cooler now, somehow."

"Right? You too! You're, uh... um."

 

Makoto stammered.

They both blushed.

Ami decided to try to get her to keep going.

 

"Edgier?"

"I-- yeah, I mean. Yeah. You don't look as small as I remembered you."

 

Ami can't help but smile in a puzzled way at that.

"Really? I thought I'd be smaller now compared to you..."

 

"Uhh... hah... yeah..."

 

Makoto gingerly grinned and scratched her head through that wild mane of hers.

Ami laughed sincerely for the first time in... a long while.

 

"I can't believe Jupiter is even stronger now..."

 

Makoto blushed and meekly smiled and said,

 

"Right?"

 

~ + ~

 

"See you at Dreamland, then?"

"Yeah. See you there, Ami."

"Take care on the walk back, you."

 

 

Well.

 

 _See?_ That was a positive experience.

(The apartment being this clean is gonna be suspicious.)

(Well, okay, not really. She'll just have to take credit when asked later.)

 

Door locked, Ami turned around and smiled to herself.

 

They're friends now.

(Hopefully not for long.)

 

(Or is that just you wanting to move on from him as quickly as possible, huh?)

(Is that it?)

 

...

 

Ami bit her lip.

_Maybe._

 

(Okay, yes, friends is comfortable for now.)

 


	7. Chapter 7

Dreamland is closed for renovations. It's been closed for a month now.

It was the first thing that they all remembered when they thought of amusement parks.

 

Seems like they're all adjusting badly to this 'five years has passed' thing.

 

It's Monday. Ami has healed enough to stand in the bus.

She didn't tell her mom where she was going.

 

~ + ~

 

There's plenty of time for thought. They all decided to give the new amusement park near Mugen District a try.

It's not really that far from Juuban, but there's high traffic.

 

(Let's not think of the immediate vicinity.)

(All these strangers, with entire worlds within each and every single one of them.)

 

Yes, let's ask the all-knowing voice about itself.

(Herself. Yourself.)

 

...

 

No, there's not really a catch. (Not in the traditional sense, anyways.) She narrowed her eyes at that.

No, it's not exactly a communion with Metaria (Chaos.)

What Chaos did was enact a change in her.

(Yes, in most other worlds, her star seed is not this powerful.)

 

... What's a star seed? (The sailor crystal at the core of her soul.)

 

Ami nursed the tension between her eyes.

 

(No, your lifespan isn't shortening.)

(Your lifespan extends beyond all others'.)

(You will stand vigil until the cosmos itself dies.)

 

 

... _Wow_ , thanks. She'd rather un-know that. Please?

 

 

...

 

(Your stop is the one after this one.)

 

Okay. That's better.

 

~ + ~

 

She's early, again.

Rei is also early. As usual.

 

Makoto approached them just shortly after. Hood down, hair short.

They didn't recognize her until they could see the green in her eyes.

 

Rei's playing it cool.

"Oh, hey. Nice hair."

 

Ami's gonna tumble and fall if she tries to play it cool, so she's being sincere.

"... You look very nice."

 

Ami blushed.

Makoto blushed.

 

"Th... thanks."

 

They all find a bench to sit on while they wait for the blondes.

 

~ + ~

 

The blondes finally arrived. The figurative roller coaster began effective immediately.

 

Ami decided to immerse herself in the moment. ... You know, in her own way.

She focused on getting to know her old friends again.

Via observation.

 

Usagi's excited. Mamoru's return from the United States is early next year. She hasn't stopped rambling about it any chance she's got.

On the subject of love lives, Rei's competitive streak flared up like a tall beacon. (Ami noticed how Rei would try to bring Minako into it. It's working. Minako hadn't smiled like that in a good while.)

 

One time, Ami could feel Rei leering at the back of her head.

(It's fair. Ami knows exactly why. She'll just deal with it when it comes to it.)

 

(They used to respect each other the most. She's really going to have to figure this out very soon.)

 

Ami respects her. (But who knows if that sentiment's returned, now that you suspiciously know many things and aren't telling her everything?)

She swears she won't pry too much.

(Unless absolutely necessary, that is.)

 

No one knows yet. No one's ready to know yet.

(Well, okay. It's okay. You have time.)

 

Makoto's not shying under her hoodie as much with that new haircut. (Makoto's having a harder time fighting her insecurities than she would against a powerful youma. Makoto won anyway because she's here, instead of replaying Inquisitions... again...)

 

Ami felt admiration at that.

 

~ + ~

 

Oh no. It's the roller coaster.

(Transformed into a soldier, being thrown around isn't so bad. In civilian form?)

 

Ami tightened her death grip on the handrail.

 

~ + ~

 

Aside from feeling her soul lag behind her the whole time, she had fun.

Makoto had sat next to her.

... She couldn't even let go of the handrail to hold onto her, but it was good enough.

 

She got off the roller coaster and shook like a cat out of cold water.

Makoto caught her when she stumbled.

 

Ami felt that it was nice, but, she also felt very strongly that she'd rather have another ride on the roller coaster compared to that??

(The cure is the poison.)

(How's it going in heartbreak city?)

 

(What's that? Like you're missing half of yourself?)

 

Ami vehemently resisted the others' suggestions of going into the house of mirrors next.

Right now, she feels that if she sees distorted images of herself, she's going to die, right then and there. Her heart would just give.

 

The others relented. (Whew.)

 

They then decided, the pendulum ride is next.

 

 

_fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_

 

 

~ + ~

 

She... survived.

 

Ami wheezed and curled up smaller in her seat. Up there, as she heard nothing but her own screaming, she had felt that even the gods she never believed in before had forsaken her.

 

Minako apologized; it was her idea. Ami whined, but in her heart, she forgave her.

 

Usagi suggested ice cream for everyone next.

Everyone agreed.

 

Usagi snatched Rei's purse and ran away.

Rei gave her a chase from hell.

Everyone laughed.

 

Ami decided that this was not bad.

Not bad at all.

 

(But maybe she should check the Mercury Computer.)

 

... What.

Why?

 

...

 

... Okay...

 

~ + ~

 

She blinked and read the words on the screen again.

Sailor... Pluto.

 

That's far out, but okay. (That's a strong sailor crystal. _Taiyoukei_.)

(She's on our side.)

 

Okay then.

She typed a reply.

 

>ok, meet you at this cafe at 1 tomorrow.|

_[attachment: gps data]_

 


	8. Chapter 8

"So... that was last week."

"Yes."

 

Ami held her cup of tea. She would've drank from it, but it was still hot fresh from the pot.

 

"So.. previously it was Usagi, but... now it's... me?"

 

Setsuna nodded. Ami blinked, then tentatively continued.

 

"... Instead of needing protection, I'll be leading them into danger, won't I."

 

Setsuna said nothing to that.

Ami answered the question herself.

(Yes. And they'll all have to die in your name if they have to.)

 

Ami grit her teeth.

 

(It's true, but perhaps infinite knowledge is powerful enough to prevent that...)

(... We shall see.)

 

Ami sulked onto her cup.

Sighing after a mouthful of hot tea (scalding, but healed the next second), she returned her focus on Setsuna.

 

"So, what was it you needed help with?"

 

"Ah... you see, before the Black Moon Clan, I had also prevented an invading star system from interacting with and breaching ours."

 

Ami's eyes widened.

Ancient sapphire met ancient garnet. Setsuna explained more, as commanded.

 

"Nothing had happened when I did... or so I thought..."

 

Ami closed her eyes with an exasperated exhale and looked for answers under her eyelids.

(The paradigm shift had been made possible not just from one action...)

(There are no more major paradigm shifts.)

( _Taiyoukei. Talisman. Destruction._ )

 

"... Pure hearts."

 

"... Yes. ... I... suppose I owe you an apology?"

"Don't bother. ... I mean... I don't mean to be callous, just."

 

Ami sighed and wistfully frowned.

 

"You couldn't have known. An apology would mean nothing. What I need is more concrete details."

"Alright. ... As you've said, there are pure hearts that carry powerful talismans. Once the talismans are gathered, the light of destruction will awaken, and the world will perish."

 

Ami's eyes shifted to glare right at the Garnet Orb within Setsuna's soul. Setsuna slightly shrunk back into her seat.

 

"Yes, I own one of the three talismans."

 

"... So, the rest of the _taiyoukei_ senshi would have the other two."

 

Setsuna's eyes widened at that. It had been so obvious in hindsight...

"... Yes."

 

Ami continued, oblivious of the sheer power she's currently exercising.

"But, because the Tau system failed to invoke the heralding of destruction, they haven't awakened yet."

 

Setsuna has never felt this much fear before in her life.

 

"Yes."

 

"So, you've decided to reveal everything to me, because eventually I would have on my own, and because there isn't enough time to find them on your own - because, when it does happen, the heralding would've been too late."

 

Ami looked away. She suddenly felt _very_ hungry.

(Oh, _that_ 's the catch...)

 

Setsuna nodded.

Ami didn't even need to be able to see her do that to nod back.

 

...

 

"Let's order food."

 

"Okay."

 

~ + ~

 

Ami inhaled her pasta. Now with more calories to keep her going, she went straight to looking for solutions.

(It works by keywords, somewhat. If she asks enough and deduces enough, she'll come across an answer.)

(She'll immediately know if it's the right answer or not.)

 

(It's just a gut feel. She could still be wrong. She _knows_ she could still be wrong.)

 

"Uranus and Neptune. ... You know, Setsuna, I don't think I have a good grasp on details yet with... this. Concepts and connections are much easier..."

 

Setsuna looked up from her salad.

"... I haven't told you my name yet."

 

"Oh..."

 

Ami would've resumed eating, but she just ate all of her food.

_Rats..._

 

"... Ah, I haven't either. Mizuno Ami."

"Meioh Setsuna."

 

Would it even be appropriate to shake hands? As senshi?

Ami offered her hand anyway.

Setsuna stared at it, and then realized what she was supposed to do with it, and fumbled to accept it.

Ami promised them both to just sweep it under the rug.

 

"Right, so... I still think it's not wise for me to look for details concerning place and time. My mind's sight kind of... branches. Uncontrollably."

 

She looked meekly at Setsuna.

Setsuna understood completely.

 

"It's... not something you can ever get used to."

 

For a split second, Setsuna felt glad that someone else understood.

If Ami had caught that, she paid it no mind.

 

"Yes... well, you have more experience navigating it than I do..."

"... More or less."

 

"So... When the Silver Millennium crumbled, when and where did Queen Serenity send their souls to be reborn?"

 

"Hmm..."

 

Ami did her best to just let Setsuna do her thing.

How is she still alive after all this time? Doing it just for a split second felt like being ran over by a truck straight through the skull.

 

"... About four, five years before you."

 

"Ah... so, they're probably professionals with undeniable presence, then."

 

"Yes, and..."

"The where?"

"... Yes, but I just can't place it..."

 

"Ah, let me..."

 

Ami felt herself wanting another plate of fettuccine, but she went ahead and peeked at what it is Setsuna's currently seeing in her head.

 

"Oh, I think that's Europe..."

 

"Ah. ... Thank you."

 

Setsuna went back to her salad.

Ami decided she's going to order that second plate.

 

~ + ~

 

"Okay... I think, later at home I can narrow it down some more, and bring the inner team so we can sailor teleport there."

"That will work."

"Meet you again, uh... I think it's better if I coordinate with the others first and then get back to you..."

 

They exchange numbers.

 

"... Wait. How'd you message the Mercury Computer with your..."

 

"..."

 

"... Nevermind, I figured it out."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and... we have come full circle!!!


	9. Chapter 9

Ami is home.

During her routine of washing hands, she looked into the sink's mirror and noticed the roots of her hair showing.

_Oh_.

 

_Fuck._

Everyone knows her natural hair color now-- has known _for a week or so??!_

 

Ami bit back a horrified screech.

 

~ + ~

 

Dye applied, Ami has nothing to do for fifty minutes.

 

... She's been eating so much. She didn't think it possible to fit that much food in her.

(Your appetite already fluctuate drastically during your years of normal human life.)

(oh my god it's not even peak yet is it)

 

Ami decided that yes, okay, fine, some time as the king of all porcelain sounds wise.

 

 

...

 

 

She flicked her wrist as if doing a sleeve trick, and flipped open the Mercury Computer now in her hand.

 

... How does this thing even work? Can it even detect and track down conceptual connections?

(She needs to have a date with it one of these days.)

(Heh... sorry Makoto, I'm busy this saturday night, but what about the next one...)

 

(... _Stop it_. _Don't be a dumbass_...)

 

Ami sighed and absently poked through the processing options tray.

 

Hmm... wasn't there some function regarding direct link or something...

... Wait no that's in the hidden folder for... _reasons_...

 

...

 

... Wait okay there's a few parameters that might work in satellite scan mode...

 

~ + ~

 

Ami found them.

Her head had started doing the thing where she's hungry but she doesn't feel it and has a headache instead. Her eyes feel sullen... but she did it.

 

... It was partially thanks to having had uh... past connections... with the Neptunian...

 

... And, just like Usagi and Mamoru, Neptune naturally sought out Uranus.

So, Ami browsed for celebrity gossip, and there they are at the headlines.

 

She saved the screenshot to show the others later.

 

Okay, now, to arrange for a meeting...

She dismissed the Mercury Computer and very quickly realized after: she can't summon her phone in the same way.

 

_no what the fuck what's the point of infinite power if she's going to be inconvenienced like this_

 

~ + ~

 

Hair washed, now blue, she got dressed and grabbed her phone from where she had left it to charge.

 

 

 

[we are.]

[having a senshi meeting. tomorrow.]

[rei do you mind hosting us at the shrine like we used to do]

 

[Uh. Sure]

[You're all always welcome at the shrine]

 

[... Aawwee]

[Rei that's so sweet ]

 

[I'll bring snacks]

 

U S A 

[YAY!!!! COOKIES!!!!]

[I CANT WAIT TO SNOOP AROUND IN REI'S ROOM!!!!!!!]

 

[OH NO YOURE NOT]

 

[Oh yes we are~~]

 

[so, is 2 pm fine with you rei]

 

[UH]

[SURE]

 

 

~ + ~

 

The shrine, a few minutes before 2 PM.

Ami couldn't figure out a good way to breach the subject without Rei asking follow-up questions which has to be explained one by one, and then explained all over again when the others finally arrive.

She'd tried thinking it up all the way from the bus ride to the hike up the staircase.

 

Nothing. So Rei gets small talk.

 

They both agree on the fact that small talk sucks.

 

~ + ~

 

Makoto arrived just a few minutes after 2 PM.

 

Rei groused about the blondes. Ami poked at her.

"Getting used to it all over again, huh?"

 

"Well, yeah! Lucky you! When Makoto gets here you can stop twiddling your thumbs and look at something other than the wall--"

 

Makoto, her good name mentioned, cut into the fray.

"I'm here, y'know? - So, which one of the blondes are you worried about the most?"

 

Ami sees an opportunity and she takes it. She raised an eyebrow accusatorily. "It's not Usagi... am I right, Rei?"

 

Rei now know better not to step into a fight outnumbered.

 

~ + ~

 

Eighteen minutes late.

 

"Finally you're here. Now... we wait some more."

 

Twenty two minutes late.

 

"Finally we can begin--"

 

Rei fumed when the two of them brought their snacks out from under the table.

"HEY!"

 

"Aw, Rei, just chill out some. The proper meeting will take like, ten minutes, like usual. Here, do you want some?"

 

Minako offered her the freshly opened bag of chips.

Rei stared at it, slack jawed.

 

"... I..."

"Well?"

 

Minako shook the bag. The chips inside rustled about enticingly.

 

 

Rei broke into tears.

 

 

 _What the hell?_ Ami looked into Rei's head to figure this one out.

(Five years ago, Rei had seen in her mind's eye: a trace of the life she used to live before the Silver Crystal's resolution rearranged everything.)

(She had forgotten about all of them for a week or so, and then with her psychic perception she could see an empty bag of chips within the gap between her shelves.)

 

Usagi and Minako both had worriedly pored over her. Minako handed Rei a tissue. Rei blew her nose.

 

 

...

 

 

After some time, Rei noticed Ami's been staring at her, and paused her crying.

 

_Oh shit quick cover it up_

"... You've got... something--"

 

Ami reached into Rei's hair and plucked out a greying strand. She held it out for all to see.

Minako caught on and played along very quickly.

 

"... Oh my god... even Rei had turned into a wreck like the rest of us plebs!"

 

Ami grinned in good faith. Makoto finally caught on too.

"Oh... now I know why it felt like a good day to celebrate! I... brought cake!"

 

She brought the cake out. Everyone cheered.

Rei has this very small smile on her face.

 

~ + ~

 

Cake is doled out. Ami bit into a piece of her slice.

 

"So, guys, our senshi business this time is..."

 

Ignoring the 'Aww, buzzkill' and 'Wait, tell me how the cake is before you...'s, Ami pulled the Mercury Computer out from under the table and projected the screenshot from earlier on the white tablecloth.

 

_'Lesbian power couple? Young, rich, and hot spotted on Versailles'_

 

"... I still haven't had better cake in all my life, Makoto. -- Anyway, these two might be senshi, just like us..."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> their adventure continues in the next fic in the series. click 'next work' when it's up to read more!


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